The Secret To A Happy Life

“For to me, living means living for Christ…”

Philippians 1:21


As my wife and I were out of town this past weekend celebrating our forty first anniversary we spent some time looking back over our lives together and reliving some of our high moments, which as we talked and compared notes we realized are countless as God has been so very good to us. Besides three wonderful children God has blessed us with eight grandchildren, each who provide for us a beautiful ray of sunshine that brighten our days. We are and have been blessed to be able to share this life with a loving family and close friends who most certainly make our highs much higher and our lows less low. Yes, it’s true, the Lord has definitely been very good to us.

As family and friends and complete strangers alike reached out to us to congratulate us on our anniversary some would ask us what we believed to be the secret to a lasting marriage. I loved the question and was thankful I could offer an answer as the question itself made me think about and consider what my answer would be. As I thought back to July 9, 1983 when my wife and I were married we both had one overriding desire for our lives that we felt marriage would help provide for us. Our number one desire was to bring God glory and we felt that being married would help us accomplish that as the Bible says “two are better than one” for together we would be stronger than we could be apart. My wife and I wanted then what we still desire forty one years later and that is to serve the Lord. If it were not for the Lord I am certain my wife and I would not have made it one year, let alone forty one years. So then, what is the secret to a lasting marriage? In a word, serving.

Like most families and marriages we have had our share of ups and downs in life and yet for me, looking back, the downs are almost always connected to moments in time when I was not focused on serving my wife or others. Maybe you can relate to what I have had to learn, “selfishness never satisfies.” And likewise, the best and most meaningful moments we have shared and enjoyed individually and collectively have been when we were sacrificially serving one another or others. The secret to a happy marriage and to a happy life itself is serving. If you want to get the most out of this life dedicate it to the Lord and His service in serving the needs of others.

It was Paul Bunyan who once said, “You have never really lived until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.” It’s so true. From the very beginning when my wife and I talked about getting married the primary reason for doing so was that together we could serve the Lord. We understood early on that living our lives for the benefit of each other and our children who were to come as well as friends and family and even complete strangers would be the source of our martial joy and once again this year its proven itself to be true. We had a wonderful time together but the highlights were the moments where we got to serve each other and help people who had nothing to offer us in return.

So, take it from me and my bride of forty one years. Serving others and doing things for those who can offer you nothing in return really is the pinnacle of not only married life, but life in general. After all, isn’t that the same motive Jesus shared regarding His own life when He said,


“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Matthew 20:28

I LOVE YOU!