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"Don't Fix Me… Just Hold Me"

"Then He said to them, "My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me."

Matthew 26:38

I love my church family and the desire most have to live lives for the glory of God. We are constantly looking for ways to reach a hurting world with the love of Jesus. I don't know who it was in our Men's Ministry who coined the phrase, "Don't Fix Me, Just Hold Me" which means to the other guys in the group, "I don't need your advice right now, I just need your friendship, I just need to know that you care." That little saying has proven itself over and over again to be a great way to be a better friend to one another. And the good news is, it works in all relationships, not just men.

Hearing those words, "Don't Fix Me Just Hold Me" are refreshing to hear for the simple fact that often times in life we are fully aware of what we are struggling. Often times God is working in our lives in a particular area or we have just experienced a hardship or loss of some kind and what we need most from those close to us is their loving support, just knowing they are there for us speaks volumes to us. In the book of Job, I can almost hear Job speaking the words, "Don't Fix Me, Just Hold Me as Job's three friends when they first heard the news of his tremendous loss didn't try to fix him. When they got wind of the news they just dropped everything and they came to Job and sat by his side for days on end without speaking a single word. They cried with him and mourned his loss along side him but they didn't try to fix the situation by offering sage advice. That story provides for each of us an important lesson on how we can be a better friend.

Availability is sometimes the single greatest gift we can offer others, especially in their time of need. Think about it, loved one, what keeps any of us from helping others? I shared with our church family just this morning that selfishness is the enemy of our usefulness in advancing God's kingdom. Our busyness often times hinders us from getting involved in other people's lives. I remember a conversation I had with a pastor a number of years ago now who said unapologetically that if people wanted his help they could set up an appointment with him during his office hours placing the burden on them if they wanted his care. The way he saw it was, if people can take off time from work to go to the doctor he saw no reason not to make the members of his church schedule an appointment between the hours of 8:30 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. if they really wanted his help.

I remember thinking at the time as he was speaking, is this what Jesus would do? I shared with him then that I thought he might need to reconsider his thinking on that for the simple fact that, "since people can't schedule all their pain, they can't schedule their need for an appointment conveniently between the hours of 8:30 a.m. and 4:30 p.m." As friends, and brothers and sisters in Christ we should all seek to be available for one another in times of need, understanding that in doing so we will be blessed with some of the most divine appointments God has to offer.

"Don't Fix Me Just Hold Me" is a basic human cry of our heart that can be met when you and I choose to "be there" for others. We don't need to worry about what to say, we don't even need special training. What we need most is a willingness in our heart to drop what we are doing, and to make ourselves available to those in their time of need. After all, isn't that what Jesus does for me and for you! Oh what a friend we have in Jesus, amen! I guess the question of the day might be, "what kind of friend will the world find in you and me?"

"Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep."

Romans 12:15


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